But Jesus…

Today has been a special day for me, thought nothing out of the ordinary has happened for it to be a special day.

But it’s special to me nonetheless.

Today, I went for a walk.

Today, I got things marked off my ever-growing “TO DO” list.

Today, I have my stuff together.

At face value, these things are fairly minor. Who even cares that I went for a walk or that I have my stuff together and am being productive? Why make a whole blog post dedicated to that??

Nobody may care that I have accomplished stuff today….but I care and want to share my achievements with whoever is willing to listen.

See, it hasn’t been that long ago when I saw nothing but darkness in every day living. When the voices were telling me to just give up. When I had lost hope.

But JESUS.

Jesus wasn’t ready for me to give up. With my husband and best friends as His tools, He gave me such strength that I’ve not known before. He is even using the therapy group I attend weekly to help me work through difficult emotions. Jesus has equipped me with skills to combat the darkness that, until now, I couldn’t access.

I don’t cling to Jesus because I’m hopeless or weak or desperate. I cling to Jesus because He alone is strong enough to help me during the good times and the darkest of days. He has proven His love for me time and time again.

There are a couple of lines from a Christian song “Reckless Love” by Cory Asbury that I cling to when the voices whisper that nobody loves me:

There’s no shadow You won’t light up
Mountain You won’t climb up
Coming after me
There’s no wall You won’t kick down
Lie You won’t tear down
Coming after me

Here’s the link to the live version of the song:  Reckless Love Live.  I highly encourage you to watch/listen to the whole thing.

In the end, I say all that to say this: when you’re in the darkest of days, the deepest of pits, the hopeless of hopelessness, Jesus will come for you. Jesus loved you before you entered this world…and He still loves you. If you don’t know this type of agape – unconditional – love, please allow me to help you.

Not Tracking Accurately: Measure & Log

For a lot of people, portion sizing is a difficult thing to eyeball accurately. For instance, the portion size of  a nice, juicy steak around 8 oz is what most of us consume, when in reality it’s about 3 oz – or the size of a regular playing card. The rest of the plate is to be filled with low-calorie but nutrient-dense foods.

When beginning a weight loss eating plan, I highly suggest investing in a good quality digital scale. You can find one on Amazon, which is where I found mine. What you may want to look for is the ability to switch between grams & ounces, depending on your logging system, which is the next step.

After you’ve gotten your scale, you need to decide what type of logging system you’re going to use – digital or paper. There are many sources for each. I like to log mine digitally using the MyFitnessPal app on my phone or its corresponding website. It’s a free program that will help you to determine how many calories and macros you need daily to reach your goal.

If you need help setting up your tracking system, leave a comment below.

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When I Feel (A Glimpse of My Life)

These days, there are plenty of things that will drag your spirit down – social media comparison, decisions being made beyond your control, economic downturn…just to name a few. Some people can just trot right on with their lives as though these things don’t bother them at all. Other people get down-right depressed. Still others are somewhere in the middle.

It’s those people who, in my opinion, have it the hardest emotionally. Now, don’t get me wrong – being depressed is no picnic in the park, and neither is being the only “happy” person in your circle of influence. However, at least those people know just where they are emotionally.

Being a person with Borderline Personality Disorder, I know what it’s like to be in the middle – not knowing exactly how I feel from one minute to the next. And when I do feel, having that emotion be so intense that it all but consumes me and not being able to just acknowledge then release all in one fell swoop.

So, how do I deal with it?

I could say that I do a really quick meditation or visualization in which I see my trigger floating away down the stream or float up into oblivion on a cloud, but I’d be lying. The truth is that I shut down (which, in clinical terms, is “dissociate”). I retreat far into myself where nobody can reach me – “zone out” if you will. What can’t be seen is the war going on in my head to “snap out of it,” to deal with the situation in a more positive manner.

I hate the fact that I feel emotions so much more intensely than others in my immediate circle. I hate the fact that I can’t seem to live a “normal” life – a life free of such intenseness. (Is that even a word?) I try so hard to see a positive to this, but all I see is negative.

It’s a daily struggle – a struggle that I grow weary of fighting. But fight I do for it’s all I know to do. I am very thankful to my support system who love me no matter which aspect of my true self is showing up. I am very blessed to have the kind of husband who takes his wedding vows seriously – “for better or worse til death do us part” – and who does his best to understand what I’m going through.

Depression

The past couple of weeks have been extremely difficult for me. I have been up-and-down, in-and-out of depression so much that I now have a season pass on the emotional roller coaster. Let me correct myself…a multi-season pass.

The only thing that I could do – which is the best thing – to prevent myself from sliding in too deeply was to reach out to my best friend. She is the only human on earth, it seems like, that totally understands what I go through. My husband, bless his heart, doesn’t get the severity of it all b/c he deals with his own special “demon.”

Not only did she listen to me whine and cry “Woe is me! The world should revolve around me, but it doesn’t!” but also did she give me a lot….and I mean a lot!…of encouragement through her own experiences, her prayers, and her Bible reading. Because of the state that I was in, I ignored a good bit of the help she was trying to give. (Sorry, Bestie! Still love you, though.)

Next week, I’ll go over some tips that you can use to give yourself a lift in your journey out of the darkness.

I Really Needed This

It has been such a loooooooong summer……or so it seems. Having only 1 child has its perks – only having to pay for 1 set of everything, etc. – but it also has its drawbacks – the constant pleading for attention b/c there isn’t anyone else to play with.

That’s where it really wears me down. Especially when I have to go to town or work (I am in the family rental real estate business in addition to blogging), and he can’t go with me but refuses to stay home alone. (He’s old enough, and my parents are right down the street.)

Enter a mini vacation to Helen, Ga, with my aunt.

*SIGH OF RELIEF*

With the help of my hubby, I was able to get away for a few days and just relax. No housework, no “parental” work, no work except for relaxing.

 

The hotel room

 

My aunt and I spent the first couple of days just window-shopping. We saw a lot of really cute & funny things that made us think of family back home.

 

And we ate at some really great restaurants and had adult beverages.

 

And watched people as they tubed down the river. One fella was so relaxed that he had fallen asleep & didn’t realize that he’d gotten stuck on a rock…

 

All in all, it was a very good trip. Although I hated to leave, I was about ready to come back home.

And I’m glad I did!

Where is your favorite place to get away to? Leave a comment below!!

The Wait Is Almost Over

Summer – the dream of children and the nightmare of parents.

8 whole weeks (give or take a couple of weeks) – 2 whole months – of listening to “I’m bored!” “I have nothing to do!” “I don’t wanna do that!!!” (That last one is when the child is given a task to do b/c he is “bored” with “nothing to do.”)

If you’re in this boat with me, take heart dear Parent! The school year is just around the corner.

Now, don’t get me wrong…..I have loved having my son home with me. I love all the morning and bedtime snuggles (and random snuggles in between) and all his random kisses, BUT…

Momma needs a break. The constant “Where are you going? I wanna go, too!” “Why didn’t you take me with you?” (He’s called me from the house when I’d sneak off and leave him with his father for male bonding time.)

He’s my only child. So naturally, I don’t want to quite cut the apron strings just yet – though I know I need to in order for him to grow up in more of a male fashion. I want him to grow to be an independent person who fends for himself.

So, it’s about this time every summer that I’m like a kid in the backseat of the car on a long road trip – asking every 5 seconds “Are we there yet??”

My answer to myself: “Almost. A little over 2 weeks – you can make it.”

Are you there yet? Leave your answer in the comment section below.

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Diet vs. Lifestyle

Diet.An ugly 4 letter word.

An ugly 4 letter word.

A rollercoaster of emotions and reactions for such a small word.

But it seems that everybody that we know – aunts, uncles, cousins, best friends, etc. – is on a “diet.” Then there are all types of diets like low carb, keto, and paleo…just to name a few. Not to mention the famed “Grapefruit Diet” and it’s vegetable counterpart the “Cabbage Soup Diet.”

We are constantly being bombarded by advertisements for different products claiming to be the “miracle product” to “cure obesity.” In reality, they are over-processed, chemically-laden food-like products that essentially starve your body into submission.

Let’s face it…..

I have an assignment for you. It’s really simple and will take only a couple of minutes.

I want you to sit there and count how many diet plans you have been on in the last 6 months…in the last year…in the last 2 years.

You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. (If you choose to, please know that I will not judge you at all!!)

Have an idea of the number? Great. Now, think about what happened each time your diet plan ended. Were your results maintainable? Did you “crash and burn”? Did you gain the weight you had lost….and then some?

You’re not alone.

According to the website Fitness for Weight Loss, over 100 million Americans are on some kind of diet. Within 5 years of beginning a diet plan, almost 95% of dieters regain the weight they had lost.

And I’ve been one of “those people” – not happy with the health/state of my body and desperate to change that. I have tried a lot of different things over the years only to have minimal success in losing weight…..and I probably succeeded in hurting my body in the process.

 

The Diet Cycle

 

 

Let’s switch gears for a few minutes.

I want you to visualise your world without obsessive calorie/macro counting. A world where you’re free to eat 4 slices of pizza at a birthday party or 2 big brownies for a special treat. A world where no food guilt exists.

How would you feel in such a world? Would “Heaven” be a good description?

Do you believe that world is within reach?

No? Let me help you.

That world is called “Lifestyle.” You are no longer dieting and can still enjoy your favorite foods like pizza, brownies, and hamburgers.

The key to living a healthy lifestyle is to eat whole, nutritious foods 95% of the time while still indulging yourself 5% of the time.

 

 

Here’s an example:

You’ve just started your journey towards better health. You have been doing exceptionally well – your willpower is like steel.  You are now on Day 3 and are being tempted by the thoughts of a nice, juicy cheeseburger with all the fixin’s and fries smothered in cheese and bacon.

You have a choice – eat that meal today OR save that meal for a Friday night date with your Significant Other. Either way, it’s a win-win because you get to have that meal.

If you were on a diet, chances are you wouldn’t be “allowed” that meal…or you’d “spend” all you had in points/macros/calories for the day to enjoy the meal. If you chose to eat the meal on Day 3, you may feel like you cheated and that you might as well give up.

At least, that has been my experience.

With eating nutritiously as a lifestyle, there are no guilt trips associated with foods. To top it off, the more plant-based you can get your eating, the healthier you can potentially become.

**Note: I do not advocate one particular eating style (carnivore vs herbivore vs omnivore.**

Personally, I love the freedom I have from eating nutritiously as a lifestyle. I no longer feel guilty for eating “off plan” and can explore different diets. (I use this in the context that a diet is what a person eats…e.g. plant-based.)

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Post your comments below. I would love to know what you think about this topic. 🙂

 

Back in the Saddle

*gasp* She lives!!It has been quite some time since I’ve written!

It has been quite some time since I’ve written! I won’t bother with any excuses or reasons – no matter how valid – for why I’ve been noticeably MIA.

So, here’s a quick rundown of what I’ve been up to lately.

May saw the end of school, my brother’s wedding, Mother’s Day, as well as Memorial Day. June was packed with corrective eye surgery (I no longer need glasses to see distance though I’ve discovered I will need reading glasses sooner than I originally thought…but I can live with that!), Cub Scout Day Camp (check out the pictures here), and Vacation Bible School at my church (you can see a glimpse of what we did by clicking this link.)

July has started off well with celebrating the birthday of America and with my getting my first ever tattoo!!

Yep.

A tattoo.

Not just any tattoo. It’s a picture of a “weed”….depending on who you talk to.

It’s not just any “weed.” It’s a thistle. A flowering thistle.

 

The flower of Scotland. The home of my ancestors.

 

I had it placed on a very sensitive part of the body – my wrist. It’s there to serve as a reminder that I’m stronger than my inner “demons” and that I’m never alone, even in my darkest hours.

I look forward to beginning a new – or finishing an old(?) – series with you.

If there is a topic you would like for me to talk about, please let me know! I will try to accommodate as many as possible.

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The Power to Choose …

Power. Capacity. Rule.

What do these words have in common? They all convey the ability to do or act; the capability of doing or accomplishing something. These words describe people, societies, and governments alike. Bill Gates, the Freemasons, and US government – these three have power. They have the ability to act and are capable of accomplishing something.

But power is not limited to the wealthy or the governments. Ordinary people like you and me have power as well.

We have the power to choose to eat healthily.

Despite our being surrounded by convenience foods and other processed food-like items, we are capable of choosing fresh, whole foods to fuel our bodies. (I spoke more about this in my last blog Back to Basics.) It’s not complicated and doesn’t have to cost a fortune, either.

You may be wondering, “That’s great and all, but what does healthy eating look like on a daily basis??” I wish I could give you a concrete answer and formula to follow, but there are none. Each person’s diet (by “diet” I mean food common to the area/society/culture) is different, and certain food allergies may be present. What I can do is give some general guidelines and share my personal experiences.

The Power…

The fuel we get from food is in the form of calories, which are further broken down into macronutrients (fats, carbohydrates, proteins). Then there are the micronutrients (vitamins and minerals). A healthy diet will consist of a balance of macros and micros.

The generally agreed upon macro split for getting started on a healthy diet is 40c/40p/20f. That means each meal should be 40% carbs, 40% protein, and 20% fat. Let’s say you are sitting down to a breakfast of 500 calories, then your macros will be 200 grams of carbs, 200 grams of protein, and 100 grams of fat. That may look like this: an omelet using 1 whole egg and 2 egg whites, low-fat feta cheese, spinach, and oregano.

Another thing to keep in mind with your new way of eating is hydration. It is estimated that our bodies are made of 60% water. Water is important for proper functioning of the nervous system, for lubricating the joints, for temperature regulation, and for many other important bodily functions. We lose water through breathing, sweating, and digestion so it’s important to rehydrate. The accepted rule of thumb is to drink 1 oz of water per pound of bodyweight. So if you weigh 150 lbs, you should be drinking 150 oz of water. Be careful, though, not to drink the water too fast….that can cause hyponatremia (or water intoxication) where the electrolytes – especially sodium – in your body are diluted too much. The max amount of water to drink per hour is 33 oz.

To Choose….

Fresh food vs processed food.

Cokes – or sodas or pops, depending on where you live – vs water.

The power to choose is yours.

What do you choose?

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Nutrition

It’s what fuels the body. It provides the building blocks for the myriad of production lines in the body. Some have an abundance of it while others are scouring uncommon places for it. It can be good for the body or not so good for the body.

What is it that I’m talking about?

Nutrition.

What, exactly, is nutrition?

According to dictionary.com, nutrition is defined as “the process by which organisms take in and utilize food material.”

Over the next several weeks, I’ll be taking you through a series about nutrition. We’ll start by getting back to the basics of nutrition before moving on to the balanced plate. Then I’ll talk you through diet versus lifestyle – one, quite honestly, I struggle with myself!

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